You miss the things....

Below is a very meaningful poem that speaks into both the heartache and the joys of being blessed with a special needs child like our gorgeous Nate. While it's seemingly easy to focus on the joys and the celebrations and is something we really try hard to do within our blog of Nate's Journey, the reality of both the medical and the developmental delay challenges never ever goes away, and I think this is what people who have never experienced our world, would really have no understanding or concept of.

The reality is that our boy isn't 'typical', and this is likely to be more and more apparent to us, and also to others, as he gets older. That brings with it heartache and some sadness (and not to mention logistical, financial and emotional challenges), that while par for the course, is something that can be very difficult to deal with. In fact I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't say that that really sucks at times, and it can come up and bite you just when you least expect it - usually when you see another child of a similar age do something so naturally and effortlessly, but that in reality, might not ever happen for Nate. As a parent, that cuts.

We have surrounded ourselves through Facebook with many families who face similar, and we learn from and support each other as best we can in dealing with that side of things. We look to focus on the joy that our wee man gives us each and every day, and trying to ensure that he knows only happiness and joy from all of the experiences in life that we can provide him with. He is 'our perfect' little man. X

You miss the things I haven't done,

the goals not scored, or races won.

The steps my feet have never walked,

the words my lips have never talked.

In my wide eyes you know my fear,

you take my hand and hold me near.

In children, all around you see, the child that I may never be,

Not so able, tough or agile, often tired and much more fragile.

You see the tears I've often cried, and cried them with me, side by side.

Your heart is heavy for my trials, but you wear it well,

with weathered smiles.

I know that you know, I am enough.

But I know the bad days can be tough.

You thank god for giving me to you,

but you're sad for all I cannot do,

and not because you feel let down my me,

but you can't help wonder how I'd be.

if I could do what others do,

like ride a bike or run to you.

You think of all the things I'll miss

first dance, first love,

first date, first kiss.

Yet here I am, as I should be,

not missing out on being me.

Do not fret or worry so

and make your spirit tired with woe.

And when those nights are feeling longer,

lean on me until your stronger.

Hold my little hand in yours,

peacefully we'll pass the hours.

For all we have is one another,

special child and care worn mother.

Nothing matters more you see,

than seeing all the life in me.

I don't need to be able to,

do the things that others do.

See the words I do not say,

in the smiles I give you everyday.

When I'm tired let me rest,

with my little head against your chest,

and for that moment in that peace,

let your loving worries cease.

Look at what I can achieve,

and celebrate me, do not grieve.

Please do not be sad because,

I'm not the child I never was.

Different isn't less you know,

and you're the one who told me so.

And somedays will be hard to take,

and you'll feel as though your heart might break,

but we'll bounce back,

we always do.

Because you've got me and I've got you.

© Mary McLaughlin 2016

Hanging with Teddy and his Ipad in his fort

Watching 'Annie' the musical - transfixed!

 

 

 

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